25 Aug My parents separated when I was ten
Dear Traveller News Problem Page,
My parents separated when I was ten. I chose to live with my dad as I worshipped him, but my mum was heartbroken. My dad told me that the split was my mum’s fault as she had cheated on him; I later realised he’d actually had cheated on her! But he has never admitted it.
Anyways, I decided to be with my mum, and he told me that he would never forgive me. He is now with another woman who has four selfish children.
My dad wants us to be one happy family, but I want nothing to do with them. I have spent years trying to earn his love, but the children just click their fingers and he goes running. Should I cut him out of my life for good?
Children tend to see their parents as practically perfect, unless things are really bad. But as children grow up they realise that they aren’t as perfect as they thought and your Dad has let you down.
The absolute golden rule when Parents separate is to put the children first, and never criticise the other parent in front of them; otherwise it difficult to know who they can love and trust.
After what he has done and said, it’s unrealistic to expect you to be one big, happy family; but rather than cutting him off completely, you could meet him on his own sometimes or just keep in contact.
When children are spoilt and selfish, it’s sometimes because they were bought up that way and they know no different. Their Mum might spoil them to make up for them not being with their Dad, there is always more than one side to a story.
We hope this helps you to mend your relationship with your Dad and maybe understand that his new family have a history too.